


Sicken of the Calm

by softlyforgotten



Category: Bandom, The Like
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-22
Updated: 2011-07-22
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:43:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softlyforgotten/pseuds/softlyforgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hastily cleaned up commentfic! I'm still fond of this, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sicken of the Calm

Tennessee was just -- kind of really tired, all of a sudden. She slumped back in Z's lap and listened to Z sing along with the Very Climactic Moment of the movie. Every now and then a handful of popcorn fell on Tennessee, which she guessed was Laena getting annoyed at Z ruining the Very Climactic Moment and seeking appropriate retaliation.

She felt good. A little while ago she had felt like jumping up and moving and had done so, sweeping Z into an energetic waltz, but now she didn't particularly want to move at all, and when Z got up to go to the bathroom she felt a little disgruntled at having to sit up. She waited until Z got back and then slumped back against her shoulder, sharing the sofa cushions.

"This movie is really bad," Z whispered in her ear.

Tennessee turned her head, grinning, and Z smiled back at her, eyes bright, mouth red and wicked.

"I mean, really bad," Z whispered, and she didn't stop smiling, and Tennessee didn't think, couldn't help it. She leaned in and kissed Z on the mouth, kissed her warm and soft and careful. Z let out a shivering breath against her and Tennessee raised her hand, just gently, and let it rest on Z's shoulder, the soft, worn cotton of her t-shirt.

Z tumbled away, off the couch with a distinct lack of grace. "I'm going to bed," she said abruptly, and then she was gone.

Laena and Reni actually were, as far as Tennessee knew, watching the movie, but after Z's dramatic exit it was pretty fucking obvious exactly what had happened. Tennessee couldn't help touching her mouth, either, her eyes wide, breathing a little ragged.

She thought, too, that Laena and Reni had made guesses about this kind of thing before. It was ridiculous, of course, but not everyone had known them as long as Tennessee and Z had known each other. Not everyone could be expected to get it, even people as awesome as Laena and Reni.

The two exchanged a look, and got up in the tag teams Tennessee thought maybe they actually _practiced_ for to deal with them appropriately. Tennessee got Laena cuddling up to her on the sofa with a blanket, ignoring it even when Tennessee laughed hoarse and a little small and said, "I'm fine. I'm _fine_."

She was just glad that she was drunk enough that falling asleep wasn't really a problem.

\---

In the car on Monday on the way to school, Tennessee thought, _ha, wasn't that funny, we totally beat that time we went skinny dipping in Alex's pool_ and _sorry, darling, you're just not my type! Boobs, y'know_ and _man, I was so drunk, I don't even know, what did we do after we ate that whole tub of ice cream?_ She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel and hummed cheerily to herself, and got distracted trying to work out what the lyrics were that the singer was wailing through the radio.

It had been silly, she thought, to stay up so late last night worrying, to escape so early on Sunday morning, before the other girls had woken up. Z was her best friend. They'd done stupider stuff before.

When she got out of the car, Laena was coming towards the parking lot to her. She looked hesitant, and Tennessee smiled and waved at her. "Hey," she said.

"Hi," Laena said, carefully. "You alright?"

"Sure," Tennessee said. "Sorry for leaving so early yesterday, my mom called in a fit. I kind of forgot to tell her I was staying the night."

"Right," Laena said. She looked like she wanted to say something else, but after a moment she sighed and shut her mouth, waiting for Tennessee to get her schoolbag out and head with her towards the building. After a little while, she said, "History first."

"I know," Tennessee said. She laughed and said, "What are you so worked up about, seriously? Everything's cool."

"Okay," Laena said. She still sounded worried. "Okay, cool."

They got to the main steps and perched on the rail, in their usual place. Z and Reni were running late, though, and they didn't join Tennessee and Laena until just as the bell went. Tennessee was just heading inside when she heard Z's voice, and she whirled around so fast that she almost fell over.

Z looked at her, eyes and face blank, and Tennessee's mouth went dry. For a dizzying moment, all she could think of was the taste of chocolate ice cream, and then Z had ducked her head and was walking up the steps past Tennessee without even looking at her, and Tennessee wondered what kind of moron she'd been to think it was a good idea to come to school today.

"Tenn?" Laena said, and Tennessee stood very still, and watched Z walk without looking back.

\---

Tennessee thought that whatever, by tomorrow Z would be over her snit and everything would go back to normal, and until then Z could have Reni and Tennessee could have Laena and everything would be just fine.

On Tuesday, she revised her opinion: probably it would take until the end of the week. Z was _really_ pissed off, which was dumb, but whatever. The littlest things set Z off sometimes.

On Saturday, she went to Ryan's party, because she'd been _invited_ , because Ryan was her friend too. When she came in, though, Ryan looked both terrified and sorry, and she found Z in the crowd just in time to see Alex shoot an unreadable look at Tennessee and then tug Z in under his arm, leading her away.

On Monday, the school was buzzing with the stories about how Ryan and Z and Alex had broken into an abandoned building and almost set fire to it, and Z still wasn't speaking to her.

\---

Laena was lovely. Laena was one of Tennessee's very best friends, and Tennessee loved her, and they had a great time. Tennessee was working hard to do well in school and keeping up with her extracurricular stuff and was considering taking up basketball again, just for something extra to do.

Tennessee was tired and miserable and felt sick all the time with the fact that, by all appearances, Z was never going to speak to her again.

And because she was tired and miserable and perhaps not quite in her most brilliant of mindsets, she managed to miss the part where she was actually _sick_ as well, until she _fainted_ in the school library, which was just plain embarrassing.

The doctor told her she had a very bad flu, and that she had to go home and be confined to bedrest for an indefinite period of time. It _sucked_. Mostly she just lay around feeling awful and bored, except for the brief periods of time when Laena and Reni showed up.

She was just starting to want to go back to school, despite everything, when Z burst into her room white-faced one day and said, voice weird and choked, "Tenn, Tenn, you're not _dying_?"

She stood there, eyes huge, clutching her hands into fists, and Tennessee just stared at her and said, "I -- what?"

"You're all -- sick, and people have been. They're saying you _collapsed_ and you have – you have _leukaemia_." Z stopped and took a breath, said in an angry, shaking voice, "Anyway, I would have thought that no matter what -- that you would tell me something like that."

"I have the flu," Tennessee said, without taking her eyes away from Z. "Not even pneumonia."

Z sagged, looking embarrassed and relieved at the same time.

"Well," she said, in a huffy little voice. "Well. That's not what they're saying."

"Okay," Tennessee said. She curled her hands in her blankets and said, smiling tentatively, "Hi."

Z stared at her for a moment longer and then nodded sharply, as if she was making a decision. "Hello," she said, and Tennessee was torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. She settled for just staring, and didn't even feel very embarrassed about it, because Z was busy staring back.

"Been a while," Tennessee said eventually, voice small, and Z looked down, tucking her hands in her pockets.

"Yeah," she said, voice carefully distant, and Tennessee thought, _no, you don't get to do this, you don't get to ignore me and then rush in like this and then run away again, it's not_ fair _, Z, seriously_ , but she didn't know how to say it out loud, didn't know if she was allowed to. Instead, she drew in a breath and said, "Are you still mad at me?"

"Well, I was, but then you had leukaemia," Z said, absently.

Tennessee raised her eyebrows and went to say _seriously? You really believed that?_ but instead she started coughing, the stupid wet, hacking one that wouldn't go away, and she leaned forward and pressed her forehead against her raised knees and coughed and coughed and coughed, until Z was abruptly beside her, hands cool as she stroked back Tennessee's hair.

When Tennessee could breathe again, Z handed her the glass of water beside her bed, said, "Here." She went to take a step back as Tennessee drank, and without really thinking about it, Tennessee reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Oh," Z said, and stayed right where she was.

Tennessee set the glass aside and tilted her head, looking at Z. "Are you," she said, "I mean--"

"I don't know," Z said, looking aside. "I don't know, Tenn, I have no fucking idea about anything."

"Right," Tennessee said, looking down. "Right."

"Don't _look_ like that," Z said, and the next thing Tennessee knew she was taking off her jacket and toeing off her shoes and climbing in next to Tennessee, her long legs cool and bare against Tennessee's hot skin, and she slung an arm around Tennessee's stomach and pressed up close, and didn't even complain about how Tennessee smelled, which Tennessee figured was pretty bad.

"Z," Tennessee said. "You'll get sick."

"Okay," Z said, and nothing else. Tennessee closed her eyes and Z squirmed closer, tucking her chin over Tennessee's hair, and it was pretty easy to fall asleep.

\---

Z kept coming around while Tennessee was sick. She brought movies and books and fresh flowers, and she made Tennessee spend an afternoon sitting up in bed while Z methodically went through Tennessee's wardrobe and fixed it, until Tennessee's head was spinning and she was reduced to making pleading gestures towards her fifth favourite polka dot dress.

Somehow, the whole fight became a mutually agreed unspoken thing that neither of them brought up and, so, neither of them fought about. That was nice – Tennessee liked not fighting with Z.

Unfortunately, the fight and all the unspoken territory around it also covered a whole lot of stuff that Tennessee would have rather liked to talk about (or edge around and ask questions with implications, whatever), like what Z's thing with climbing into bed with her all the time was, considering Z was by far the least cuddly of them most of the time, or why Z came over one afternoon and announced, "I told Mark Ronson you didn't want to go to the movies with him when you were better. Right?" and looked at Tennessee with that fierce, hard expression that dared you to say something different.

Obviously, Tennessee was mostly delighted just to have her friend back. She started getting better, though, and she started getting a little bit grumpy, too. Z lived her life by her own rules and most of the time Tennessee could deal with that, but sometimes, sometimes—

"Doctor says I can be back at school on Monday," Tennessee said abruptly, and Z paused the episode of _My So-Called Life_ that they were halfway through and turned to look at her.

"Cool," she said. Tennessee would have folded her arms, but Z was half-lying on one of them. She settled for clenching her jaw.

"Is it?" she asked.

Z blinked at her, face confused, but Tennessee wasn't fooled, and she knew what a guarded Z looked like.

"Sure," Z said.

"So you're going to talk to me again?" Tennessee said, and -- maybe that had been a little too blunt. Z sucked in a breath and sat upright, but she tilted her head forward, hair falling across her cheeks, and through the brown waves Tennessee could see a hot, angry flush on her cheeks.

"I don't know," Z snapped. "Are you going to get drunk and jump me again?"

Tennessee sucked in a breath. She had been waiting for and dreading this conversation for weeks, and she must have practiced it a billion times in her head by now, and it wasn't really fair that her mind was blank, that she didn't have anything to say.

Z made a tight, angry sound and said, "Yeah. Don't get all fucking righteous on me, Tenn."

"I wasn't that drunk," Tennessee said, and then froze, because that had not been on the list of things to say at _any_ point, not something that revealing and dangerous and also frighteningly honest. Z was staring at her and Tennessee couldn't think of anything better to do than squeeze her eyes shut and press her forehead against her drawn up knees. She wished they weren't so close.

"I," Z said, and stopped. Her voice sounded strange. "Tenn, I--"

"Don't," Tennessee said, pressing her face into her soft cotton pyjama pants. "Please, don't."

" _Tenn_ ," Z said, and suddenly she pushed Tennessee's hair back and kissed her cheek, next to her eye, her forehead, the corner of her mouth, anywhere she could reach, hard and frantic, and Tennessee's breath caught in her chest. She looked up, and Z was staring at her, and they both moved forward at once, mouths catching off-balance. It lasted for one long, brilliant moment, and then Z pulled back and said, "I thought you were _drunk_."

"Just drunk enough," Tennessee said, which wasn't a proper explanation, not really, but Z got it.


End file.
